Loving him had been simple. The connection had not been.
Polyamory had been a totally brand brand new concept in my situation to know (especially with out had any prior experience), but I happened to be most definitely fascinated and able to discover.
We thought to myself, вЂњAlright self, letвЂ™s work out how to do that entire love-someone-whose-dating-someone-else-across-the-country-and-seeing-if-you-can-handle-it thing.вЂќ
(IвЂ™m not anyone to turn something down simply because this indicates вЂќ that isвЂњchallenging
Minimal did i understand, вЂњchallengingвЂќ had been an understatement.
Challenging has been in a long-distance relationship, and lacking that individual with every fibre of the being whenever youвЂ™re perhaps maybe maybe not together.
It was a lot like that, but add a dash of agonizing discomfort and complete digest of any old identification youвЂ™ve ever held onto.
This experience, for me personally, included:
- Being in deep love with somebody who lives around the world.
- Being deeply in love with a person who was at love with someone else.
- Maybe perhaps Not operating away as it felt difficult.
- Determining the things I ended up being fine with and never fine with.
- Talking up for (and motivated by them) the things I desired.
- Navigating my own sexuality and questioning if i might be varied from my past recognition.
- Asking myself: why do i want this? Do we absolutely need this? Where performs this need originate from?
- Deciphering simple tips to maintain this while residing in integrity with my heart, maybe perhaps maybe not permitting my ego block off the road.